Billie Jean complex - squashed

There are days when I wake up and my mind would immediately go "What time is it? What time is it??" (which is usually accompanied by "aahh why did I sleep? I should have stayed up to do work!").

Yesterday,  I woke up to surah Al-Qari'ah playing in my head. And yes, I was scared. Still am..I believe God was sending me a message.....

Anyway......

 there are always words running around in my head, in different languages, tones, rhythm and rhymes..

Today I woke up with this song in my head...

 

I remember thinking what a way to wake up..

A hauntingly beautiful song to match a beautifully haunting dream. 

At that time I couldn't recall most of my dream..

I just remember that there were 2 of my favourite guys in it. (Nothing kinky, please. haha).

Guy #1 was the first guy whom I thought was the closest to perfection..the closest to my definition of the "Ideal Guy".

Guy #2 is the second guy to fit the bill, except that I thought he IS the Ideal Guy - the real deal. 

In this dream, Guy #1 & #2 were travelling together (which is odd since in reality they do not know each other). But there they were, backpacking through KL together (I don't know why KL of all places). I was there as well, but I was with my family.

I don't remember much of it, but I remember them not acknowledging my existence. I remember feeling ignored. And that was it. End of dream.

Some time in the afternoon while I was in a cab (where I normally do my reflections), it all started to make sense to me.

THAT DREAM WAS MY ANSWER. 

AND THE SONG TOO!

See, not too long ago I confessed to Guy #2 how I felt about him. Conclusion? We decided to use this time to just get to know each other. As I tried hard to cling on to these ideals, I find myself being less and less sure of him being "it". My mind can't see anyone else being a better guy for me, but my heart sensed something was amiss. I asked God for help...

and here we are with a new conclusion..

I guess...You're not it.

You roll like Guy #1...the same guy who packed his bags, travelled out of my life and didn't look back. The two of you are the same person. How did I not see that?

You are not my "person".

My person is still somewhere out there..and so is yours..

or perhaps my person doesn't even exists.. wAllahhu a'alaam.

This feels good. I am sure now.

So I'm moving on..

This doesn't mean that you won't occupy my mind once in a while..

It just means that we're not meant to be..And honestly, I think you know it too.

After years of going back and forth, this is what final looks like ey?

Take care PSM ;)

We have all of the wits, but none of the sparks.
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EDIT:
I've misinterpreted dreams before. So I won't be surprised if this is one of those times. But I'm going with what I know now.