Last night/this morning, I dreamt that I was spending time with an anonymous person. He/She invited me to do something fun (I can’t remember what but I’m sure it was some sports activity).
Me: Hmm maybe I’ll do that on my birthday. I like to do new things on my birthday.
He/She: When’s your birthday?
Me: 15th
He/She: Today IS the 15th...
Me: (panic in the darkness of the night)
I remember wondering where time went. Why wasn’t I aware of the date? How did this happened?... I missed my birthday.
I woke up.
I’m sure I was awake but my eyelids were still draped over my pupil and iris. Thoughts were competing against each other in my head, fighting for my attention. What are you doing with your life? When God asks you what happened in 2010, what are you going to say? How do I tell Him that I gave up on a lot of things that year. One year...One whole year.. 365.25 days. 8766 hours. 525960 minutes. 31,557,600 seconds. What have you done?
Who is this person?
I don’t recognise myself anymore.
Who am I?
My heart’s in trouble since I installed revolving doors.
I can’t live this way anymore.
But I don’t know what to do.
When life ends, I don’t want to be saying, “I missed my whole existence”.
I know 2010 isn’t over, but I feel suffocated. God never gives anyone anything he can’t handle. Yeah, well. I feel like I chose the wrong method to handle my life..and I keep choosing the same thing out of habit. Right now I’m staring at a quote on my wall: “Verily through remembrance of God, hearts find rest”. That, that’s my solution right?
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