'ishq

Im missing a lot of peple right now..people who I discarded..people who discarded me..people who are no longer in my reach..my ex-bestfriends..my almost bestfriends..the gold,the silver and the diamond friends..my beloved cousin…old friends..new friends…my twin at heart..

Im feeling so pathetic.. the series of missing people began last night.

Last night was the first time in a while that I went to a spiritual talk. The self-reflection period has begun. I went there with izzy..and it was strange that I missed her the minute I got off the train. On my way home I began to miss a lot more people. People who meant a lot to me then that I’m not really in contact with these days..like maya ( I miss you maya..i hope you know that).

People who I discarded like the guy who taught me the value of activism in this world..i miss..

People who discarded me like the person who never fails to put a smile on my face but took me for granted..i miss…

And many more..

The strangest thing of it all is….i could call these people and tell them how much I miss them..but..

But..

I don’t know..

What do I miss the most? I miss the state of ihsan.. I miss being God-conscious…I miss Allah..

I saw the stars last night..it’s been a while since I last saw their twinkling smiles. It was contagious.. it made me smile..

Last night was strangely beautiful..

So strange..so beautiful..it made me cry..

Writing this down too tears me up…

Is this ihsan calling me back?

I hope so……….



It’s weird that I’m missing what we could have been.