sewing lips

Imagine me without a mouth. yes, me, basta, without a mouth. It's like me without a soul. Ironically, me with a mouth is also me without a soul.

Recent events made me realise what a BIG mouth i have. I have always thought that i was driven by passion...have always thought that i spoke what my heart felt. But as we know, passion is symbolised as fire. And i came to realise this morning that the Devil is made of fire!
So my conclusion is that most of the time, i speak with the fire that burns me instead of the fire that warms me. I tend to speak before i think. And at night when im with no one other than my soul, I dwell over things I said that causes my heart to grow heavy and the only way to get rid of this feeling is to go to sleep to escape from this reality.

I used to cry to drain the pain out of me, but recently i found that I've lost the ability to cry. I want to cry, i badly want to, but i just cant...My tears are frozen..

As always, the only thing i can do is to turn to Allah. I see now what i didnt see clearly then and that only Allah can save me. No one else but Him. The Creator of my heart.

Oh God, please let me be more red than black.