* frozen in time, in photographs *

Everyone who knows me knows that i don't like to be photographed. I told people repeatedly about this so much so that i've forgotten why i dont like to..

I think it's mainly because i'm paranoid with the outcome of the photographs taken. Seriously, i have astigmatism. ok,fine, it's not astigmatism, cume juling je. What else? nose too big, eye bags, double chin, matched bushy eyebrows, yellow teeth, let's not even go to the facial hair that girls shouldn't be having.

Gosh, im laughing my ass off as to how paranoid i sound rite now but it's true. If you think that i'm insecured about how i look, well i gotta stop you there. I LOVE what Allah has given me. Every single part of me. I don't wish to change anything. I just don't like to be photographed. Period. I like to take pictures of people and other things but I don't like to be photographed. I'd rather be behind the camera instead of in front.

When you take a picture, you're freezing time, you're freezing that moment. And i guess i just don't like to be frozen in time. Memories are meant to live forever if not in your head then in your heart. But of course, being humans we need something to remind us of moments in our lives. Pictures can capture memories, but the memories remembered, to ME, are limited. This is because 99% of the time, we behave unnaturally in pictures. Yes, i'm talking about posing for pictures. Snapshots are a different story, it makes sense to me. It is still being frozen in time, but it's natural action. I guess what i'm opposing is the act of posing itself. Get what i mean?

Personally, i think items are more nostalgic than pictures. For instance, a picture of a day out with a friend whom i meet only once a year, means little to me. However, a napkin from a cafe we went to or tickets of a movie we watched means a lot more to me. Because, when you look at the picture in years to come you tend to remember only that moment the picture was taken, but can you remember anything aside from that? Ok, so maybe not everyone has low memory as me, but that's how i remember things. I keep things that have great significance to me. Items remind me a lot more about people than pictures, but don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that pictures don't tell stories, i'm just saying they're limited souce of memory or nostalgia.

i think i might have contradicted myself at some point of the arguement. But i guess that's just cause im a contradicting person.

Oh well.

But i still dislike taking pictures so much so that i've reached a point where i don't even care about looking at the pictures that were taken. I guess different people have different philosophies in life.

i just wanted to argue about something.
Photographs just happened to be the victim of the day.




scrambled eggs having oatmeal tendencies.